just few things!

** i wrote this entry in Feb this year but bcoz of some technical probs, it remains as a draft entry and today i feel like to post it so just read it ^^


Bismillahirrahmanirrahim…

The talkative me shows her side again today, thus I couldn’t stop talking (within myself actually) since this evening. I talk to myself about almost everything that came across my mind. 

Alhamdulillah mama is recovering from her newly-passed-operation. She has to follow a very strict diet; she cannot do any heavy works/house chores, the only thing that she can do is rest! The kind-hearted-doctor (I don’t have the chance to meet him! oh, please alin! no mengada-ngada ok?) has given her 1 moth MC and after 1 week, she already complained that she’s boring with this type of life…^^

Since our grand chef (mama) is sick, so I am the person-in-charge for cooking and house cleaning. Though I’m not really a good chef but after a week, I can proudly say that I’m not that bad in cooking, just need some practice and some confidence. At least the most famous food critic, my beloved abah, has approved my ‘kari’ and my ‘asam pedas’, ok? Plus, both of the food critic and the grand chef approved my simple ‘ikan haruan masak stim’ that I cook for her. Hehe, just wanna brag a little bit since I know that I’m not really good in cooking ‘lauk-pauk’ back then!

Since evening I’ve been reading and ‘godek-godek’ a lot of blogs. There were some that catch my attention and I’ll state 2 for you.

     1 . masafzal.blogspot.com.

Actually, I’ve been following this blog since December last year. I found this blog through an entry in saifulislam.com, expressing condolence to the family of the owner of the blog. I would like to suggest to you, especially doctors-to-be, to read this life journal of Mas Afzal. You’ll find something good in return as well as increasing your knowledge in medical-related-field since he was a medical student. Please, read this touching blog and take whatever you think as precious lessons for you.

     2 . (I’ve forgotten the address and I’m too lazy to open the history file)

This 2^nd blog is about a girl. An average-Asian-girl who is not a hot babe - I’m sorry for being rude but she’s really not physically an attractive woman (she admits it by herself) – with low self-esteem during school years. But now, she has a very handsome-caring-kind-hearted-and-romantic-American boyfriend! They have been in this long-distance-relationship for 8 years.

Put everything aside as I’m not in a position to agree with the ‘coupling culture’, but I wanted to stress on 1 thing here - there are always someone that can accept you the way you are, there are always somebody that can accept the good and bad sides of yours; no matter who you are, no matter how you look!

This makes me think of myself, suddenly. Sure, I’m not a hot and gorgeous woman but I could say that I’m very grateful to be like this, to be me myself. I believe that everybody has their own charms which only certain people would realize it. But, do I really have charm/s? Dunno, you answer me~

meaningful song, perhaps!

Merenung saujana

Menyakitkan mata hati

Tusuk ke dalam jiwa sanubari

Kealpaan mereka kelekaan manusia

Sukar dibendung lagi

Duhai sahabat seperjuangan

Meskipun lemah menghitung mihnah

Biar dilukai nista pedih

Akan kau rentangi jalanan berduri

Dengan redha Ilahi

c/o

Genggam bara jihadmu

Biar syahdu munajatmu

Rebut kembali

Sinar yang hilang

Bangkit menuju kejayaan

Jangan biar dirimu terkulai

Jangan biarkan nafsu membelenggu

Jangan kau hancurkan masa depanmu

Kelak kan terbenam kegemilangan

Ayuh kita melangkah ke hadapan

Sisihkan mazmumah yang mengikatmu

Warnailah hidupmu dengan iman

Diiringi cahaya rahmat Tuhanmu

           

Merenung saujana

Mengharapkan sinar kan kembali

Kepada-Mu ya Allah

Kami pohonkan

Moga gemilang ummah ini

by:

Ikhwanus Sufi (2007)

source here

if only you knew...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Heh, dah lama tak menulis ni rasa macam dah berkarat pulak skill. Tapi tetap jugak nak tulis sebab dah lama sangat pendam sejuta satu rasa ni sampai dah tak tau nak start kat mana.

Sebelum tu, aku nak wish dulu SELAMAT HARI MURABBI untuk semua yang berpangkat murabbi/pensyarah/cikgu/guru yang berperanan mendidik semua yang berpangkat murid/pelajar/mahasiswa/mahasiswi secara langsung atau tak langsung, formal atau tak formal, yang penting bila berlaku give and take ilmu antara dua atau lebih pihak kira ada la cikgu dan murid. Especially to parents yang sememangnya orang pertama yang mendidik sejak kita semua kecik-mecik!

###

Minggu ni dah start final exam. Tapi aku tak sedia langsung mental dan fizikal kearah tu. Huh, apa nak jadi la hamba Allah yang sorang ni, ish3! Benda yang nak di’study’kan banyak je tapi malasnya...na’uzubillah! Tu belum lagi cerita kena siapkan fail subjects lengkap dengan ISL + notes dari semester 1 sampai la semester 3 ni...

###

Naik semester baru nanti dah kena masuk rumah sewa. Benda baru. Selama ni sedap je duduk kat asrama, tak banyak benda nak pikir. Sekarang ni nak pikir bayar sewa, bil, kereta, dapur, nak pikir housemates, roomates, jiran, tuan rumah etc. Kena baik sangka, tolak ansur, berlebih kurang, ambil berat dll. Susah nak jaga dan senangkan hati semua orang. Mau pening kepala kalau salah langkah. Tapi yang penting kena usaha jugak walau macam mana pun susahnya. Tapi...larat ke kalau asyik sakitkan hati sendiri semata-mata nak jaga hati orang lain?

Memang makin banyak yang kena consider sebelum buat keputusan especially kalau melibatkan orang lain. Hailah, kena anggap ni as experiences sebelum posting lepas habis grad nanti la ni jawabnya. Hopefully, aku makin matang la lepas ni!

###

Sejak kebelakangan ni aku asyik terpikirkan dia je. Kenape ye? Bukannya ada apa2 pun dengan dia. Ke ni efek banyak sangat tengok cerita Korea? Cerita baru aku maraton sampai habis, cerita lama aku ulang tayang. Game pun dah banyak yang aku khatamkan sampai naik muak tengok games yang ada. Tu semua sebab nak elak dari pikir pasal dia. Haih...

+ Kenapa la aku boleh buat gila macam ni?

@ Cuba la sedar sikit, Mama and Abah hantar ke sini suruh belajar la sayang, bukan suruh buat benda lain...tolong la ingat!

+ Aku tau...

@ Ke ko nak benda kat sekolah dulu jadi balik? Killer siblings – Fizik and Add Maths? Remember?

+ Hohoho... mana boleh tak ingat, sejarah hitam tuh! Siap kena ‘brain wash’ dengan ramai cikgu + Mama + Abah tu!

@ Haa, tau pun... So, takkan nak lalui benda tu lagi? Sekali tu tak cukup ke?

+ Ok2... paham! Tapi soal hati dan perasaan mana boleh paksa. Benda tu datang tanpa dijemput... halau la macam mana pun, dia tetap akan datang balik, menempel kat dalam otak ni...

@ Hmm, pandai2 la ko handle. Dah besar kan? So, act like a mutured grown-up!

+ ........

@ Banyak benda yang aku tak reti nak kongsi dengan Mama, especially bab hati dan perasaan. Kenapa? Entah, aku pun tak tau kenapa. Maybe sebab aku cuma suka nak bagitau kat Mama and Abah benda2 yang dah konfem sahih betulnya saja, yang tak sure lebih baik simpan sendiri.

Maybe aku jadi macam ni sebab hari2 dan selalu ‘ter’ : pandang benda2 yang ada kaitan dengan dia, dengar benda2 yang ada kaitan dengan dia, nampak benda2 yang ada kaitan dengan dia... Tu yang jadi macam tengok ‘wayang kulit’ depan mata la pulak...

Kalau kat rumah, kot tetibe ada sape2 yang tersebut nama dia, sentap kejap aku jadinya tapi buat muka cool jela yang mampu. Diorang pun tau ending aku dan dia macam mana. So, kena sentiasa gagahkan diri ye!

P/S: Ajer Qila, Cha....tolong aku, aku takut memori dulu datang balik, aku tak nak ingat dah pasal tu... ++